Delhi, Bangalore: Telecom executives from the largest private telecom operator in India were a miffed and angry lot after receiving information from their respective landlords that their respective house rent has been increased by 16 times of what it was earlier. What stoked the fire in their outbursts was the fact that the landlords across the country targeted only those working with the said telecom operator and that the landlords did not call up, text or send a mail with the forced (not proposed) change in rent. The executives, under the banner of, Tel Air Exec Demand Forum, aired their anguish over this issue.

A copy of the notice put up on a Tumblr by the Association of Tel Air Exec Landlords is available to us as an exclusive. Yes, content on Tumblr is freely available for anyone to quote but we were the first ones to get it to you. There goes neutrality!

To

Members of Tel Air Exec Demand Forum

Sub: Increase in house rent for members of the forum

This is to bring to your notice that the house rent for members of this forum has been increased by 16 times of the prevalent rent. The decision was made arbitrarily and holds good for those living in rented accommodation owned by members of Association of Tel Air Exec Landlords.
Once you have read the above para 10 times, you can go through an illustration of the increase in the house rent.
If you were paying a rent of INR 20,000/month, your rent would now come out to INR 320,000/month.
If you were paying a rent of INR 100,000/month, your rent would now come out to INR 1,600,000/month.

This decision was taken by keeping the business and financial interests of the owners in perspective. In a competitive market, organisations and conglomerates have to take positions that help thwart irresponsible use of their services. This decision comes on heels of rapid technological developments in the house-renting industry, which we believe, is being challenged by disruptive rent-a-day service apartments.

It has come to our notice that the tenants have been indulging in activities that have serious negative repercussions for the owners. Our data analytics forensics team has performed staggering number crunching and showed us proof of unprecedented and irresponsible behaviour on part of the tenants.

We have been informed that the tenants conduct parties and get-togethers on their premises. They also attend to family members who are not the permanent residents of the premises. There have been numerous and daily instances where the tenants indulged in the activity of watching television, speaking with the family members and friends, decorating walls with paintings and others. A list of such offences will be made available to those interested, after calling our toll free number.

The premises has been rented out to you for staying there and for using the gym, pool and other facilities. These are the basic services that come with the agreement. Since you have been indulging in using this premises for socialising and for keeping in touch with those who do not stay close by, you have brought this wrath upon you. We are just keeping our interests safe with this change of terms. You might consider it as a decree or diktat, but it is not published on paper and in an update on a Tumblr.

You are allowed to invite five people at your premises in a span of 30 days. You can speak with the residents of the premises for a maximum of 4140 seconds (cumulative) per day. You will be charged INR 5,000 for each person that enters your premises, after the stipulated five people. You will be charged INR 50 for each extra second that you speak, after the stipulated 4140 seconds (cumulative) per day.

You have an option of porting to another landlord, if you deem our terms to be ridiculous. You can Tweet your anger out against our directive through #VoIP #India. VoIP, as you know, stands for Voice of Indian Populace. The #India is redundant but would help you get in the stream.

Thanks
Yours Lovingly
Association of Tel Air Exec Landlords

An executive at the telco spoke with us on conditions of anonymity since he does not want a backlash from his landlord. “This proposal is ridiculous! They just published this information on a lame webpage and now expect us to fall in line. An arbitrary increase in rent by 16 times just because we talk and socialise with those we like, is nothing short of tyranny. My wife will start asking more questions. This would mean more expenses after the 4140 seconds per day, allowed to us.”

We tried reaching out to the President of Association of Tel Air Exec Landlords but the answering machine kept redirecting us to the Tumblr.

This story is developing right now. This story is a piece of satire.

Image credit: Elizabeth Haslam